All You Need to Know About Your ‘Ideal’ Duration of Sex

To begin with, let us dive through a handful of interesting facts on sex. 

  • On a scientific study over 500 couples to find out what should be the ideal duration of sex. The conclusion was drawn out that the average duration ranges between 33 seconds to 44 minutes. So, that was pretty shocking indeed. 
  • The median time duration of sex was around 5.4 minutes as studied by researchers. 
  • Another striking fact is found that it is really difficult to find out the ‘normal’ duration of sex as it is not something which. People usually tend to monitor. On the contrary, focusing on it might lead a person to oversell the time. 
  • Furthermore, a survey was conducted on 34 members of SSTAR. The abbreviation of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research in 2005 and the conclusion drawn out was; the sex therapists stated a span of around 3 to 7 minutes was the ‘adequate’ duration. Their vaginal sex generally lasts when a span of 7 to 13 minutes is considered to be ‘desirable’.
  • This survey also revealed that a mere duration of 1 to 2 minutes. Is considered as ‘too short’ whereas, 10 to 30 minutes will be ‘too long’. 

Sex Enough of the facts by now! 

Irrespective of whether you are having a satisfying sex life or not. Few questions that might have popped up in your mind at least for once is how long should sexual intercourse ideally last? Or were we too fast? And if we were slow then, what can be done to speed up? 

Now, a series of research advancements have pulled out the fact that this ‘ideal’ time your sex should last depends on a range of variables including age. The kind of sexual acts being included, newness in between the couple. Whether one or both of them was drinking beforehand, are there any breaks during the action and many more. So, narrowing down it to a simple one-liner answer is not possible at all. However, we would discuss some of the main factors in the latter half of the article.

Moreover, we all know that sex is not just restricted to inserting the penis into the vagina to ejaculate as there is a lot more kissing. Caressing and rubbing involved as well. But, monitoring or defining all those is not that simple and thus. Let us focus on just the ‘ideal’ time of ejaculation. 

Asking people about how long they normally take to ejaculate is not that much straightforward as firstly. They will be mostly biased upwards with their time estimates. Secondly, it is generally desirable in society to tell that it lasts long at night. On the worst case, they might not know themselves how long they usually take. So, what we can sum up by now is it might be difficult. To estimate or measure the duration of sex during an erotic session of making out. 

What Matters the Most of sex

When you are looking for satisfying sex life, you have to understand what matters the most. At times, you look to further while achieving satisfaction in sex. You try various poses, you looking to apply techniques to prolong your sexual intercourse. But at times, people still don’t find the satisfaction they look for. The reason for that is they don’t actually figure out what. Matters the most in having an enjoyable and pleasurable sex life. 

It’s the Build-Up

You need to understand that the build-up in your sexual activity is more important than intercourse. The real pleasure of sex lies in this build-up phase. You and your partner are both in a place where your desires are building up. Both you and your partner are getting excited and horny with each and every move. 

This is something that many people ignore but if you want to have a satisfying sex life. You need to use this build-up phase quite effectively. This will become the key to your gateway of pleasure in sex. You sex life will become more pleasurable than ever

Caress Your Partner during sex

You have to caress your partner before you start having intercourse. You have to make sure that both you and your partner are charged up for the intercourse. Otherwise, intercourse will not only be painful but it will also cause dissatisfaction in your sex life. That is why before you begin the action; start caressing the body of your partner. 

Make sure that each and every touch of your hard and lips stimulate her senses. Her reactions will indicate how she is feeling. With such caressing, she will get the pleasure which will charge. Her up and you and your partner will be able to enjoy a satisfying experience of having intercourse. 

Show Love

You have to make sure you are showing your love for your partner through your actions. Each and every move you make during the build-up process should reflect your love towards the other person. Nothing can stimulate the feeling of being loved other than your actions. Therefore, whatever move you are making, make sure that you are showing your love towards your partner. 

Pleasure, Not the Activity

According to the ancient Indian text, the Kamasutra, what matters the most in sex is not the actions you take. But the pleasure you generate not only for your partner but also for yourself as well. Therefore, you need to focus on the pleasure of the senses and also, the inner pleasure that you are having. It will surely help you to have fulfilling sexual experiences. The time is just a number of sex because your pleasurable experiences are what matter the most. 

A further dig on scientific reports

The most useful and informative study we have come across so far involved around 500 couples from all around the world. Who were instructed to have sex over a 4-week duration while using a stopwatch.

Well, it sounded pretty weird and was actually even more awkward practically as the members need to press ‘start’ during the onset of penile penetration and press ‘stop’ at the time of ejaculation. In fact, this might affect their mood as well and might not reflect the natural flow at its best. Still, the result what we got was the most convincing indeed. 

The conclusion being drawn showed a substantial amount of variation as the average time. For a couple lasted between 33 seconds to 44 minutes. So, what it revealed is that there is no single ‘normal’ duration of sex. The median was 5.4 minutes across all the couples. This emphasizes that if you arrange all those 500 couples on the basis of from shortest sex to longest sex. The middle couple will take a 5.4-minute duration to ejaculate every time they have sex. 

This study also provided us with some interesting secondary facts as well. One of them was the use of condoms did not actually affect the time much and men are not much circumcised as well. This further challenged the preconceived notion of the relationship between penile sensitivity and its relationship to retaining power in the sack. 

The country of which the couple belonged to did not matter much except they were from Turkey. As their sex usually were the shortest of time (around 3.7 minutes). Compared to couples belonging to other countries like the United States. United Kingdom, Spain and Netherlands. Another shocking finding was the older the couple was, the shorter their duration of sex was. 

What does it take sex to last long?

Researchers have tried to understand why does sex last for a certain duration of time. Sex, irrespective of how long it lasts, needs to be attained and place the sperm into the vagina. So, why do we thrust and bump so much? Why not just put the penis and ejaculate instead of inserting and taking it off the vagina. For innumerable times every sexual session? 

Well, you can say that it gives utter sexual pleasure to insert and take off your penis from the vagina. But, if you think a bit deep, you can understand that evolution is not that much concerned about fun. What it is more concerned about is helping the ancestors to pass their genes on to the future generations. Thus, why does sex lasts so long? It does not have any clear or specific answer. However, a clue might be hidden in the structure of a penis. In 2003, a research was conducted by using artificial vaginas, penises. And sperm (corn syrup) that showed that the ridge around a penis’s head pushes out the pre-existing syrup present inside the vagina. 

This very fact suggested that the repeated thrusting done by men might be useful to displace the semen of other men before ejaculation, thereby ensuring their sperms get a better chance to reach the egg first. Well, it further indicates that this might be the reason it becomes painful for men to keep on thrusting after they ejaculate as that would risk pushing out their own semen as well. 

Now, here is a brief on the most likely factors that affect the duration of your sex. 


Age affects your sex life to a considerable extent. As reported in a 2008 study on a large group of 2341 people with an age range between 18 to 93, the sexual libido decreases with age. Furthermore, men were reported to have stronger and more frequent sexual desires compared to women with growing age. 

Erectile dysfunction

ED or Erectile Dysfunction is quite prevalent with age. A study concluded the fact that around 40% of men addresses this thing by the age of 40 and the percentage rose to about 70% by the age of 70. Viagra, the world popular medication is mostly prescribed to treat Erectile Dysfunction. 


Menopause is a hormonal condition when a woman’s ability to get aroused might considerably lower down. As the hormonal levels drop-down, a number of side effects including pain during intercourse and vaginal dryness generally occur, which might lead to sexual displeasure. However, those things can also occur during the pre-menopause as well. 

Different techniques like using lubricants and sex toys, opting for the hormone replacement therapy may help in curing the problems which, result in reduced interest in sex. 

Delayed and premature ejaculation

Sexual dysfunction problems like Delayed ejaculation also possibly affect sex duration. People having this condition might need the stimulation of around 30 minutes to ejaculate. Whereas Premature ejaculation or PE often cause men to reach their climax much before they plan, thereby leading to reduced duration of sex. PE is very common and is found to be affecting every one out of three men within the age group of 18-59. It might further lead to different kinds of physical or psychological factors and can be either or a long-term or temporary issue. 

Sex education

Having an in-depth understanding of your own body and the way you feel about it also plays a key role in determining your sex location. As per the findings of a scientific study being conducted in 2010 on around 1000 women, proper sex education about the vaginal orgasm which, does not restrict only to the clitoral kind is related to the point of reaching the climax when it comes to P-in—V sex. 


The shape of your penis or vagina can also affect the way a certain sexual move becomes amazing or painful for you. You might need less or more time to get the exact level of stimulation you have been looking for. However, no need to worry much as there are several positions for every shape. You just have to keep trying until you find the right one.  

The Bottom Line

They say, “Variety is the spice of life”. And the same stands for sex as well. So, do not hesitate to change the time and place of having sex. Go for some early morning sex or an under the shower sex and keep the flame on. Also, most importantly, be communicative and expressive rather because that greatly helps in stimulation as well. 

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