What the F♥ck is Bondage?
You must have heard the term ‘bondage’ once or twice in your life. However, when you include bondage in the sexual paradigm, you will be interested to know what it actually becomes. Basically, the term bondage is special to those who have tried it before.
Now, let’s get one thing straight, bondage does not have to involve sexual intercourse all the time. You can use it as a separate practice to give pleasure to your partner or have pleasure from your partner. The concept of bondage sex is not anything that is invented in the 21st century.
You may have read it or seen it in “Fifty Shades of Grey” which enlightened you about bondage but, the history goes a long way back. The act of bondage was also portrayed in the legendary artwork of “Andromeda Chained to the Rocks” by Rembrandt in 1630.
So, bondage is not a new thing for sure. However, you can argue that bondage became more of a mainstream thing after the success of E.L. James’s “Fifty Shades” series. Now, couples are more interested in bondage than ever before.
Now, the question arrives for a newbie is what bondage exactly is? Why it is so exciting for the couples? So, in this article, let’s dig deep and clear all your doubts about bondage.
Understanding Bondage
Bondage is all about tying your partner up with his or her consent for erotic pleasure. You will be surprised to know that the B in BDSM actually stands for Bondage. Now, introducing bondage can be a difficult task because there are many myths surrounding this kinky act of sexual pleasure.
Some Myths Related to Bondage
So, before introducing bondage to your normal sex life, you have to clear your head up from these myths because they will prevent you from having the pleasure that bondage can provide. Therefore, here are some common myths that are prevalent in society about bondage.
#1 Bondage is not a Normal Act
You will find many couples around you who are less inclined to experiment with their regular sex life. For them, the normal vanilla life they are leading is perfect and this ‘bondage’ thing is for crazy people. So, when a couple has a fetish with bondage, they also feel that it is something weird and abnormal. But, in reality, it is completely normal to be sexually more adventurous and explore various other facets of your sexuality. So, if you or your partner is feeling like including bondage in your sex life, then it is absolutely normal.
#2 Bondage Should Hurt
There is a prevalent misconception that bondage has to hurt. The one who is tied up will get hurt by the other partner. Well, this is not true unless you are turned onto such kinds of things. With bondage, your partner should never feel like getting abused. The two pillars of successful bondage act are honesty and trust. So, you have to sit down with your partner and discuss everything that you would want to try during bondage. You would also discuss boundaries and limitations to have a clear mind and expectation from your bondage session.
#3 The Partner Should Always Stay Immobile
The term bondage may ring alarm bells in your mind that you or your partner would have to stay immobile throughout the session. But, it doesn’t always have to be like this. There are couples who allow the partners to move during a simple blindfold. Also, you can simply use a ball gag to prevent your partner from speaking. You can explore the pleasure of bondage by using simple things. Remember, bondage is used as an act of pleasure, not abuse.
Some Truths about Bondage
As you already have a fair share of the idea of what the myths are regarding bondage, here are some truths that will make you very much clear about the concept of bondage.
#1 Acts Can Be Customised
You have to understand that bondage is not an act that will suit everyone in a similar way. You have to customise it according to you and your partner’s wishes. Both of you have to be very flexible because an act that has worked before may not work the next time. So, there is no point in working on it. You have the liberty of exploring so many types of pleasures. The level of bondage can be;
- Light-hearted
- Fun-filled
- Loving
- Strict
- Disciplined
- Sadistic
- Kinky
- Serious
So, couples can choose what they want to explore in a way that will stay within the limits of pleasure.
#2 Safety is Primary
When you are trying out bondage, you just cannot err onto the precautionary measures. You have to be very careful about it and that is the primary thing in bondage. Basically, you will be tying up your partner at a certain position by using a certain thing. So, your partner will have no option of getting out of that restraint. So, you have to make sure that you can get your partner out of that restraint in case things don’t go the way you wanted it to go. Thus, keeping bondage scissors with safety edges is a good precautionary measure to prevent any emergency situation. You would hate to leave your partner who is bounded unattended when he or she is in discomfort.
#3 Consent is a Must
Exploring bondage could quickly become a nightmare if you force any idea onto your partner without her consent. If the partner is not willing to do a certain act, then you have no right to force your partner to do that. The secret of a successful bondage session lies in the consent of the partners. Also, partners have to stay within the limitations. Going beyond the limitations will make the bondage act less pleasure and more pain. So, before starting bondage, make sure to have time to take consent of the partners and set limitations for a pleasurable experience.
Initiating Bondage: Tips for Newbies
Now, the question is how will you initiate and include bondage in your regular sex life? If you are new and want to introduce bondage to your sex life, then here are some tips that you should follow.
Communication Holds the Key
You and your partner will have to communicate with each other properly. You should not introduce bondage to your partner as a surprise because that can really turn your partner off. Before making the first move, sit down with your partner and discuss with her about various facets of bondage, positions, and things you would want to try. Also, find out whether your partner has any fetish about bondage. Once both partners give consent, set the limitations and don’t ever cross that boundary.
Checking on the Partner’s Condition
While tying up your partner, you will have an adrenaline rush. So, you can tie up your partner too strongly. This can create numbness or tingling sensations or even hurt your partner at that place. It is something that you have to take care of. Now, this does not mean asking your partner whether everything is all right in every minute. But, you can check the condition of your partner from time to time to adjust the pressure to ensure proper blood circulation. So, it is important to check on your partner periodically.
Never Ever Look to Enact Porn Scenes
Many of you might have felt the kink of bondage after watching a porn scene. Now, these scenes are performed under the supervision of experts. Therefore, if you try to emulate them in your bedroom, then things could go out of your control quite easily. So, never try to recreate these extreme porn scenes in your bedroom. If you really have the urge of doing it, you should first take the help of an expert instructor of bondage sex. With proper guidance, you will execute the act safely.
Some Bondage Positions to Try
If you are wondering how you should start your journey of exploring sexual pleasure with bondage, then here are some positions you can try;
- Chicken Wing Tie: In this position, your partner will kneel on the surface (Make sure it is soft) and you will tie your partner’s hands behind the back.
- Bottom’s Up: In this position, your partner will slide the hands in between the knees and reach for the ankles. Now, you will have to tie the hands with ankles.
- On Your Knees: In this position, you just have to ask your partner to get into the doggy style position. After that, just tie your partner‘s limbs up. It will be a great position for oral sex or intercourse.
Final Thoughts
Finally, now you have a clear idea of what bondage is and how you can try it. You also have a clear idea of what is the truth and what is a myth about bondage. Therefore, as you are trying to introduce bondage into your sex life, go slowly. Before taking bondage to the next level, be sure to take advice from an experienced instructor. Remember, bondage is all about pleasure, not pain and discomfort.
